Dusk Until Dawn Page 10

“Not a stripper, model, or porn star?” Carla twirled a strand of dark red hair between two fingers. “Who are you and what have you done with my big brother?”

  “Come on, Carla.” Javi pointed to Geoff. “Did I give you half this much shit when you decided to marry ol’ topsiders over there?”

  As if on cue, Geoff spilled his drink on himself. Carla rolled her eyes and looked down her nose at Javi as she said, “I love him.”

  “Just be sure you’re getting married for the right reasons. Love is one. But, sometimes I wonder...”

  “What do you wonder?” This was heavy for a night out, but he was willing to get into it if talking this through could give him any clarity on Maya or get his sister to realize that she was getting married because she wanted to have a wedding, not because she actually wanted to be married to Geoff.

  “I wonder if love is enough. I wonder what love is. There was a girl before Karrie and I got married who made me doubt—everything.”

  Carla slapped him on the back of the head. “Did you cheat on Karrie?” His baby sister’s face was red, and drew Geoff’s gaze, eyebrows raised.

  Javi threw the guy a stack of napkins and pressed the button in the banquette so that their server could bring them more. “No. I didn’t. But I’m starting to think I never should have married Karrie in the first place. It would have saved us both a lot of heartache.”

  Carla nodded like a hyperactive puppy following food. “Have you seen this other woman since the divorce? You should find her.” She pulled her phone out of her purse. “You need me to find her? I am so good at Facebook stalking, you don’t even know.”

  Javi put his hand over his sister’s phone. The last thing he needed was her contacting Maya. He was worried that they wouldn’t get along. He loved his family, but they could be snobs. Hell, he could be a snob. He’d been the one who punched his sister’s now fiancé and called him a redneck a bunch of times.

  “I don’t know if things are going to work out with the other girl, but seeing her again has made me realize that I had some responsibility in how things ended with Karrie. I was at fault, too. Whatever happens with my old friend, it’s been good reconnecting.”

  Carla pressed the back of her had to his forehead. “Seriously, do I need to get you to a hospital?”

  He grabbed his sister’s wrist. “No. I’m fine. Better than fine.”

  She laughed and cupped his cheek. “She makes you happy?”

  “No, she makes me crazy.”

  Carla smirked. “Then, she’s exactly the woman that you deserve.”

  Sitting there with Carla close because of the loud music in the club, her hand curled around his face and smiling down at her, that’s when Maya had to walk over. Right when he leaned down and kissed his sister on the forehead.

  Maya’s gait was loose and she had a smile on her face until he saw him sitting that close to another woman. She’d looked excited to see him until she’d registered that. Then, a wall came down around her, and he could feel that she’d locked him out.

  “Did someone request more napkins?” Maya asked. Her voice was cool, and her face betrayed nothing.

  Carla turned and held up one hand. “Yeah, my fiancé spilled a drink on himself. Such a doofus.”

  Maya’s fake smile didn’t falter, but Javi saw the fine trembling in her hand as she passed Carla a towel. “Here. This will be better than paper. Do you need some club soda?”

  Javi sat watching the train wreck, helpless to speak up. What would he even say? Carla, I’ve moved on from strippers and models to bartenders? But that wasn’t right. Maya wasn’t just a bartender and occasional cocktail waitress; she was a talented artist. And even if she was a waitress, or a hostess, how would that make any difference? Every time he saw her, his guts twisted with the need to claim her, loudly and publically. It got stronger every time. And now with the invisible wall she’d put up the moment she’d clocked him and his sister, he wanted to do it even more.

  But he wasn’t sure he could get his sister to believe that he was serious about a bartender after all the time he spent after his divorce nailing any woman who asked. He was getting the respect of his family back, and he needed to handle this carefully. This was not the way to introduce her.

  He should have said something to diffuse the situation, get Maya out of the line of fire. But the words didn’t come. He stood up and took a single step towards Maya. Even in the small space, he could feel her willing him to get back. They’d always had a powerful connection, always been able to practically read each other’s thoughts. That connection was kicking his ass right now.

  Carla shook her head. “No. It’ll give me a good excuse to toss out this shirt. Thank you.”

  * * * *

  Maya was mortified. Javi had not only been hiding a girlfriend from her, but he was engaged again to another society chick. And he brought her here. The ink wasn’t even dry on his divorce, and he was already cheating on his soon-to-be second wife? With her.

  She wasn’t attracted to him because he saw her or cared about her; she was attracted to him because he was just like her father—only the most skilled, slimiest liars for her.

  Her insides felt like they were melting, and she couldn’t move. She hated Javi in that moment. Hurling a bottle of vodka at him would be the least she should do.

  And then she realized that the redhead staring at her was the girl from the lingerie store. Javi must have gotten a real kick out of seeing her in the same thing his fiancée had been wearing. Fuck.

  She’d already been cursing Natalia for going home with the “flu.” The kind of “flu” that comes from doing too many shots with customers. But now, she realized that that bitch had given her this table on purpose.

  But she’d deal with that after she dealt with Javier-fucking-Hernandez and his fucking fiancée.

  Fuck him. Fuck him hard with a rusty, metal dildo.

  When she saw the little redhead from the lingerie store wrapped around Javi, she’d wanted to throw a bigger scene than the first night she’d stumbled on him getting straddled by another girl. But back then, she hadn’t been with him.

  Instead of losing her shit, she shut herself down as if a power surge had decided to take out her main frame. Her fingers and toes went numb the instant she saw another woman’s hands on him.

  Gracias a Dios that they hadn’t asked her to clean up the stain herself. She couldn’t even look at Javi, much less examine his shirt for stains and clean him up in front of his fiancée. She would tear him apart, his favorite appendage—his dick—first.

  To think that she’d thought he was serious about trying to have a relationship. She couldn’t believe how foolish she’d been—again—to even hope that he’d want to be with her. She wanted to scrub him from her brain. She would pay big money for someone to pull some Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind shit on her right now. But she didn’t have big money, not like Javi and his erstwhile fiancée.

  She was thanking God again that the redhead hadn’t recognized her when said redhead took the towel and walked over to a brown-haired guy in pressed khakis and a stained shirt. To her fiancé. Who wasn’t Javi.

  Her heart started pounding and she got the courage to look at him. He had a half smile on his face, as if he’d been tracking her thoughts the whole time. Relief that she hadn’t lost her mind and slapped Javi across the face flushed through her body, and she had to lock her knees to stop herself from slumping to the ground.

  This thing with Javi was out of control. How could it not be when she couldn’t be even a little bit reasonable around this man? He made her feel too much. He’d been right to push her away before. Maybe marrying Karrie had been a mistake, but getting involved with her would have been a disaster. He turned her into a jealous, insane person. Fucking Javi had turned her into his mother.

  “Maya?” His voice had an edge of amusement, but his question belied his concern.

  She was too shaky and unprepared to meet
his friends. Not as a waitress. Even if he admitted that she was more to him than just a bartender/cocktail waitress, they’d always think of her as the help. With a knot of something grazing emotion in her throat, she asked, “Yes, Mr. Hernandez, can I get you anything else?”

  The look on his face was inscrutable. She couldn’t tell whether she had surprised him or hurt his feelings by pretending that he wasn’t much more than a customer. But his half-smile disappeared and both his eyebrows rose. “No. That’ll be all for the night.”

  She’d spent enough time around men who talked a pretty game, but didn’t give a shit about her, to know he’d dismissed her.

  She turned to leave the VIP area when a small, feminine hand wrapped around her shoulder. “You’re the teal merry widow girl from L’Agent.”

  The redhead looked at Maya expectantly. Maya didn’t have a response. This wasn’t going to end well. She felt nauseous. Pins and needles settled in her feet, as if her body wanted her to run far away. But she was stuck there.

  “I’m the one on the panty embargo, remember?” The redhead waved a hand in front of Maya’s face, which pissed her off enough to swallow several deep breaths. She didn’t like it when people talked to her like she was stupid because she was in a service job. Especially girls who had to be prevented from spending all their money on stupid underwear. “Did the underwear work out? I mean, they had to.”

  Maya felt Javi’s gaze on her, and her skin flushed. She willed her voice to be even. “They worked fine, I guess.”

  “I mean, wow, I didn’t know you could make that much in tips working at a bar.”

  And there it was. Javi’s redheaded little friend saw her as less than because she actually worked for her money rather than spending it all on frivolous bullshit. She’d bought new lingerie for Javi because she’d thought it would feel good to be in a beautiful, expensive thing for him. The redhead’s comments at the store had emboldened her then, her words now—reminding her of her place—made her feel small and stupid.

  She mightily fought her instinct to scratch and claw her way out of this situation. Instead, she said, “I have other tables,” and ducked away as quickly as possible.

  The redhead said, “How weird was that?” in a loud voice.

  Maya didn’t make her way back around the bar, but found herself in the room she’d re-stocked a few hours before. It was almost silent and empty. Again, she was tempted to open a bottle of tequila. But Felix’s boyfriend would notice the inventory anomaly. This time he might really fire her. Even if she kept her job, she’d probably end up having to explain what happened to him and her brother. And the last thing she needed was an “I told you so. Rich fucking bastards,” from Felix at the moment.

  In lieu of tequila, she’d take a few moments of blessed silence. The stock room was temperature controlled, so the music was nothing but a muffled bass line.

  She sank to the floor in the corner, curled up with her head on her knees. Images of the things she and Javi had done flashed through her consciousness. She racked her brain for any signs of another woman at his apartment and came up empty. There was no way he was engaged, but her mind had jumped there because she was already in too deep.

  Making Javi her lover had been a mistake. She wasn’t even sure that she would have regretted being with him if he had been engaged. At least now she knew what it would feel like to have him touch her, and hear how he sounded when he came.

  But she had to cut things off.

  If it hadn’t been clear when she called him “Mr. Hernandez” and ran off, she had to drive that point home. Brutally, if necessary. If she continued to be with him in this stupid, friends-with-benefits situation, it would end her, and she would never be able to feel anything again.

  The door to the storage room opened, and she looked up to find him. She wiped her face and half of her mascara along with it.

  “What the fuck happened out there?” His mouth flattened out, and he put his hands on his hips.

  “I don’t think this is going to work out.” The words were like razors in her throat. She started shivering, all of the sudden so cold.

  Javi crouched down in front of her. He didn’t touch her. “Because my sister made a shitty comment?”

  “She was your sister?”

  “You thought I would bring another woman here?”

  She shook her head. Now that she was thinking reasonably, she didn’t really think that. But she was afraid. Seeing him with another woman—his sister, even—nearly made her lose her mind. Being with Javi would make her crazy. Then, they would fight.

  “I wouldn’t do that to you. You have to know, after all that we’ve been through, I would never do something like that to you.”

  “Yeah, but it’s more than that.”

  “What is it? Whatever it is, I’ll fix it.”

  “You can’t fix this. This shit is broken, permanently and completely. I’m broken.” Fear pierced her; she felt like she’d been stabbed. She was clinging to the control that keeping people out of her heart gave her, and she felt like he was trying to tear it away

  “I don’t fucking get this.” He slapped his thighs, and she started. She was used to people getting angry with her because she tried to keep them out. He would give up on her, just like everyone else did.

  “And you never will.” She put her head between her knees, but kept him in her peripheral vision. “You can’t possibly understand.”

  He stood up and ran his fingers through his hair. It stuck up in all directions, as though she’d been tugging at it while he went down on her. Her pussy heated despite the fact that she was trying to end this thing between them.

  Stupid pussy.

  “I don’t even know what I’m trying to understand. You’re a goddamned confusing woman.” She didn’t know, either.

  “Stop yelling at me.” Him raising his voice wouldn’t help. She wasn’t afraid of him losing control the way her father used to when her mother demanded more money, more time, more love. But his yelling at her made her feel what her mother must have felt—needy, desperate, small.

  “I’m not yelling.” He was so yelling, but he lowered his voice when he said, “I want you in my life, what do I have to do to keep you in my life?”

  There was something in his gaze, the same desperate thing that called to her when they fucked. Like he needed her.

  She stood up and wiped the dust off the back of her skirt. “It’s not good for me, Javi. I hated seeing another woman touching you. Even now that I know it’s your sister. That kind of jealousy feels bad. I don’t want to feel it.”

  Javi moved towards her and cupped her jaw in both hands. She gasped as his heat seeped into every nook and cranny of her being. Him touching her was just right, and she had no say in the matter.

  “I don’t want you to be jealous either.”

  “I can’t help it, Javi. Every time I thought of you in the past four years, I thought about running into the two of you together. I imagined her pregnant with your baby.”

  A look of horror crossed his face. “That didn’t happen. It’s never going to happen. I can’t even picture how that would work.” He stroked her cheeks with his thumbs and she grabbed his wrists, not sure if she wanted to pull him close or push him away. “All I can see is you. Ever since I saw you again, I’m like a man obsessed.”

  “But why wasn’t it this way before? Why didn’t you think of me before?” She couldn’t believe that she’d asked the questions. The ones that had plagued her ever since she and Javi got together... Why her? Why now and not four years ago?

  What would she do if he said the words she’d been fearing? She wasn’t good enough to be his wife. She was not the girl he could introduce to his family. She was broken, and he didn’t want her the way she wanted him. She waited for him to tell her that nothing had changed; she still wasn’t the girl for him. Any other words would cut her wide open; he would leave her with her insides all over the floor, bleeding
out. It would kill her if he really wanted her.

  “I made a commitment, and I thought that was more important than what I really wanted. I thought Karrie needed me, that we could grow together. You scared me.” Maya snorted and moved to pull away. He held her tight, didn’t let her move when he wedged her between a shelf and his body. “What I didn’t know then is that you scared me in a good way. You didn’t laugh at my jokes, and you wanted me to take myself seriously. I didn’t think I was ready for that. Fuck, I’m not sure if I’m ready now. But I want to be.”

  She was choking on the emotion in his voice. It was too much to hear the words she’d been waiting to hear since she met him, that they fit together like two sides of a coin. Fuck their differences.

  “You want me?” She hated how it was still a question for her.

  He tugged her face to his and kissed her, branded her with his mouth, consumed her doubt like it was dessert. She’d never felt more wanted in her life. His lips touched hers with reverence mixed with the kind of passion you couldn’t fake. His tongue invaded her mouth, and she gave over to shivering.

  She reached up his arms and around the back of his neck. Yanked him closer and pulled him deeper. His hands were busy burrowing underneath her T-shirt, bracketing her ribs. When she pushed her hips against his groin, felt how hard he was, he grunted into her mouth.

  Fuck him. She needed him right now.

  He finally pulled back from the kiss to take a breath, and she said, “I need your cock in me. I need that to know how much you want me.”

  “Dirty girl.” He grabbed her ass with both hands and pulled her against him. “You need me right now? I came in here to talk, but I’ll always give you what you need.” Her head fell back onto one of the steel shelves and he licked a path from her collarbone to her neck. “I like a dirty girl. You’re my little sucia.”

  They stood there dry-humping, panting, and cursing their clothes until she reached between them and unfastened his pants. She burrowed under his boxer briefs and cupped his cock. She smeared the pre-ejaculate leaking from the tip and jacked him. He fucked her hand like he was lucky to be there.